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This one’s for the theater kids. Hear me out; “Zombie Strippers!” is an incredibly loose reinterpretation of Eugene Ionesco’s play, “Rhinoceros.” A surrealist critique of fascism, the original “Rhinoceros” is set in a small town where citizens mysteriously start to turn into (spoiler alert) rhinoceroses. I have a special place for this play in my heart because I performed in it when I was an itty bitty baby back in high school (I played Daisy). Speaking of high school, this movie came out the year after I graduated, and I probably saw it for the first time close to then (just to make us all feel old). As soon as I noticed the parallels between “Zombie Strippers!” and “Rhinoceros” I decided that this was my z-movie comfort film. There are a number of great Easter eggs throughout (including an unexpected “UHF” quote). Keep in mind that this movie is from 2008 and includes some very 2008 humor (including some offensive stereotypes, so proceed with caution if that’s a deal breaker), so this movie about undead strippers may not be your cup of tea.
“Zombie Strippers!” begins with some (very) heavy handed social commentary in the “near future (to 2008)” with George W. Bush running for a fourth presidential term, a soldier named “Birdflough,” and a government institute creating a virus that reanimates dead tissue to make super soldiers! If only we had known then what we know now. SPEAKING of existential dread, heavy on the existentialism, obviously nothing can go wrong here! It’s fine! Everything’s fine. There are fail-safes to prevent the virus from breaching containment in super top secret laboratories! Super top secret laboratories which are a hop, skip, and jump from “Rhino’s,” the place of employment of the titular zombie strippers.
The production values leave something to be desired, but we’re not here for production quality, we’re here for the zombie strippers. The military “Z-Squad” takes care of the zombies taking over the super top secret laboratory after the fail-safes inevitably fail, shooting everyone who’s been bitten with an apparently infinite source of ammunition (like, there’s a minigun involved. ‘merica). The obvious new guy, Birdflough, is bitten by a stray zombie, sees that his squad mates are killing those who have been bitten, and bails. Can’t really blame him.
Luck is on Birdflough’s side (kind of); he kicks his way into a room attached to Rhino’s. He seems to completely forget he’s been bitten/has gone AWOL when the lights come up and Kat (Jenna Jameson) takes the stage. I get it. We’re introduced to a colorful cast of characters who are employed at Rhino’s, including Robert Englund as the incredibly slimy owner of the bar, Ian Essko. HA. Another character with a fun Easter eggy name, is the dancers’ manager Madame BLAVATSKY. I have to assume she’s named for Helena Blavatsky, the creator of the Theosophy occult movement from the mid/late 1800s. This movie has a lot of cute little details for those who are paying attention that I really appreciate. For example, towards the end of the movie there’s a neon “Live Nude Girls” sign but the “Live” is burnt out. Delightful. A hefty serving of nudity and dancing is peppered throughout, all is well. For now.
Remember Birdflough? I didn’t! He’s still here! And he’s still a human! But not for long. During her performance, Birdflough tackles and bites Kat, turning her into a zombie super quick. The virus is supposed to work better on women, after all. Kat, newly zombified, returns to the stage to do what she does best, and her audience experiences scare-ousal for the first time. Again, I get it. She may be decomposing and covered in blood, but she’s a hit! This movie makes me want to dabble in pole dancing again.
“Zombie Strippers!” brings the camp. It brings practical effects. There are boobs. It certainly attempts to bring digital effects. Kat begins to turn other dancers into zombies, to the point that no one is at Rhino’s to watch living strippers. News of this conveniently makes its way to the Z-Squad.
Throughout the movie we’re treated to a sprinkling of existentialist rhetoric, with my favorite exchange being
“Great tits huh?” “Yeah but… what does it mean?” Poetry. Eventually, most of the dancers have been zombified, and we get to watch a dance battle (hell yeah) between Kat and her self-obsessed rival Jeannie devolve into a regular battle. At this point I’m jealous of the makeup artists who got to work on this film. Actually, I’m jealous of everyone who got to work on “Zombie Strippers!” It seems like everyone had a blast. Zombie Jeannie and Zombie Kat continue to do battle, using unlikely weapons such as ping pong balls, BILLIARD balls, and even a pole! The Z-Squad rolls up to Rhino’s to kick ass and chew bubblegum, but they’re all out of gum. Jeannie is literally shot into nothing but a couple of feet; these effects need to be seen to be believed.
Eventually the truth comes out and everything’s been a plot by the government because money. I can’t remember where I’ve heard this one before but I’m sure it will come to me.
“Zombie Strippers!”, while not a technically great work of cinema, delights the shit out of this former theatre kid. It’s surreal. It’s camp. I give it a 3/5 (much to my spouse’s chagrin [“Zombie Strippers” get the same rating as “Hell House?!” How?!?!])

As always, I recommend checking https://www.doesthedogdie.com/ for any triggers or things you don’t want to see before starting *any* horror movie.

All views expressed are my own, you don’t have to agree with them! I’m open to respectful discourse.

Feel free to leave any movie recommendations or anything you’d like to read a review of!